16 October 2015

Wallbanger by Alice Clayton

Hey everyone,

This book has been languishing on my to-be-read pile for far, far too long. Nearly a year! Thankfully I’ve been making a concerted effort to cut down on the amount of books I’ve been buying recently, so I finally found time to read Wallbanger by Alice Clayton.

The book:
The first night after Caroline moves into her fantastic new San Francisco apartment, she realizes she's gaining an intimate knowledge of her new neighbor's nocturnal adventures. Thanks to paper-thin walls and the guy's athletic prowess, she can hear not just his bed banging against the wall but the ecstatic response of what seems (as loud night after loud night goes by) like an endless parade of women. And since Caroline is currently on a self-imposed dating hiatus, and her neighbor is clearly lethally attractive to women, she finds her fantasies keep her awake even longer than the noise.

So when the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby-doll nightie, confronts Simon Parker, her heard-but-never-seen neighbor. The tension between them is as thick as the walls are thin, and the results just as mixed. Suddenly, Caroline is finding she may have discovered a whole new definition of neighbourly...

My thoughts:

I thought it started out really strong. I almost immediately loved Caroline as a character and I’ll be honest Simon seemed hot-as-hell! The banter between them was funny and had just the right amount of sexual tension. I even understood why Simon had his ‘Harem’ considering his past and the amount of travelling he did due to work. It seemed believable and added an interesting initial conflict to Caroline and Simon’s story.

“The smirk reappeared and he said, “Sweet dreams.
He thumped the wall one more time, winked, and went inside.
Huh. Sweet dreams and thin walls. Sweet dreams and thin walls...
Mother of pearl. He’d heard me.” 

I think it was after the trip to Tahoe that the story started to go down hill for me. I felt that the scene in the hot-tub with Caroline, her friends Sophia and Mimi and Simon and his friends Neil and Ryan was little forced. Caroline basically informs her two friends that their dating the wrong people and they should swap. Now while I totally agree with her, because it was obvious Mimi and Sophia where with the wrong people, the delivery was off-putting. I also found the interactions between Caroline and her friends to be unrealistic. They acted like women from Sex and the City whose whole life revolves around men (by the way I love that show and am in no way dissing it). I wanted more depth to Caroline friendships, I wanted her to have a life and personality outside of her job, sex-life and Simon.

“No, no, no! That’s not what was supposed to happen!” I yelled, stamping my foot, losing my balance and going under in the process. Simon’s strong hands brought me back to the surface, and I continued my alcohol-induced tirade.”

Then the trip to Spain happened. Again at the start I thought it was wonderful. Caroline and Simon where finally getting away just the two of them. They were in a place where they could freely explore the sexual attraction between them. Yet it was just more and more build up. More banter between them, more sexual tension but very little action. The reason? Caroline missing O or orgasm, which as she repeatedly informs us has been missing for months.

“Cold, crisp, like a burst of seawater in my mouth, I moaned around the fork as he slipped the tines back out. He grasped his own oyster and tossed it back like a man, licking his lips as I watched this little bit of food pornography play out.

I love it when both the hero and heroine have a healthy attitude towards sex. What I don’t want is a heroine who talks to her ‘lower caroline’ and other parts of her body. I applaud Alice Clayton for tackling the issue of female sexuality and concept that sex isn’t always amazing even when your in love. I just think the way it was approached was wrong. Having Caroline despair over her missing O for 80% of the book and then once Simon knows that it is a problem she can suddenly have SEVEN in row was frankly ridiculous.

“Still onward I thrashed, passing through the land of multiples and into some kind of no-man’s-land. Passing six and seven, my body became limp with ecstasy.

Overall I’ve given Wallbanger three stars because I thought some of it was wonderful and funny. It just started to fall flat towards the end and certain aspects of the story felt completely over-the-top and unnecessary.

My rating:
Happy reading and see you next time!